Wistful longing

This afternoon as I was in my local shopping centre, I noticed a little girl in her school dress jumping cracks in the floor pattern. Her Dad was holding her hand and instead of reprimanding her he started to jump over the cracks too. It made me wistful. It kind of put into words what I have been feeling lately. That this was the kind of  Dad and Husband that I wanted for myself someday soon.  A sense of longing; of completeness within myself but at the same time a yearning for something more.

Most of the time I am comfortable in my own skin and content with what's in my hand. But lately I feel like there has been a veritable onslaught on my Facebook page of sparkly shiny rings on fingers leading to meringue white wedding dresses, glowing pregnant people and beautiful new babies to coo over. 

I am genuinely happy for this people- I really am but I catch myself questioning when is it going to be my turn??? Like for real now...(after all I do turn 35 this April)

I don't think it helps that lately I have had a couple of circumstances of men establishing themselves in my life over email then weirdly dropping off the face of the planet.  One of these  chaps was matched with me during a Christian speed dating event and then he promptly said that he actually wasn't interested and was pursuing some one else. Seriously? Not even one coffee? Am I not even worth $3.40 to you?

In retrospect what made me boiling mad in this situation was when I expressed that I was frustrated and disappointed to a friend  instead of being offered grace and love I was told that I needed to keep my attitude sweet. Sure what they had to say was true, but what I really needed was a hug, some encouragement and possibly a bar or two of chocolate over a good girly movie.

So, here I am. being real (because that's what I do) with a simple request well maybe two...

1. If you happen to be part of the sparkly, meringue, glow, cooing brigade again CONGRATULATIONS I am genuinely happy for your happiness.But...  Please don't be smug. Be understanding be gentle, be kind.

2. Find the single people and the desperately hoping to get pregnant people. Feed them some chocolate, and some love and encouragement  and acknowledge that somedays we have wistful longing and will secretly wish we could punch you in the nose if you tell us to have cop it sweet.


We are doing a piece in choir that sums up really well. I really pray that this lyric rings true soon for me and you if you can relate.

                            Perhaps at last,

                    Some such showers past,
My God would give a sunshine after rain.