What to do when a tonne of bricks hits you

So I live in Brisbane now. It's a little odd not being in the classroom teaching cherubs or living in Middlemount. I can eat pizza and McDonalds anytime I want now and can go see a movie whenever I feel like it.

On Tuesday I had to go and get my car fixed. I am prepping it ready to sell and part of that was getting some Hyundai problem faults rectified for free. (their problem their cost). I got there early and dropped off the car and managed to get a lift to my local shopping centre. I walked around for a bit went and had a bacon and egg muffin, hashbrown and coffee at Hungry Jacks and then went and saw Monsters University. I really liked it!

After the movie I rang Hyundai to get them to come and pick me up as the car was ready for collection. I was told that everyone was on lunch and I'd have to wait for half an hour. I didn't want to wait as I was ready to go- I had to go visit a friend in Hospital and then go on to Anthony's to help him out. Waiting around for another half an hour wasn't really on the agenda. So, I told them I would walk. As I walked (it was about a 20 minute walk) I started getting very irrationally angry at Hyundai. How dare they not have someone in the Service Centre at my beck and call? Why should I have to walk especially as they are the reason that my car is in for a service- they built a car with a faulty light that needed replacing- I have to give up my time and energy to get this done and for what? As I walked along mentally fuming I began to cry.

I felt like I'd been hit with a tonne of bricks. I realised then that I wasn't really upset about the car although I do think it's poor customer service. But I was just plain SCARED! Like a kid after they've been scared by a monster who has crept into their bedroom by a cupboard door..

Now I look back and go well duh! My whole world is changing!! I've sold and given away most of what I own. The rest is in boxes in the garage waiting for time and headspace so they can be sorted. I have resigned my full time permanent job, moved 900 kilometres back to Brisbane to live with my parents in my childhood bedroom which still has the same curtains!

My childhood curtains still going strong 20 years later!
 

My parents are in Europe so the house is very quiet and sometimes scary at night because we live on acreage- the neighbours aren't within cooee distance.

Plus I have no regular income coming in.. a car that I need to sell because I owe the lease company $22000, a credit card bill of $2500 and in 35 days I'll be leaving on a jet plane and I literally don't know when I'll be coming back again! I miss the kids I taught too..

As I stood at the traffic lights waiting to cross the road- uber thankful for sunglasses to hide my tears..I realised all of this and felt all of this hit me like a tonne of bricks one brick after an another and got completely overwhelmed.

As the light went green and it was safe to cross and I started walking up the hill I realised that this was exactly what I needed to do to get past this.

Keep walking.. It would have been very easy to stop and set up shop right there on the kerb surrounded by my metaphorical bricks. I'm sure I could have set up a metaphorical house with them too But while this is a strategy it doesn't really help for long.

I was reminded of this song which I originally heard on the Psalty's Camping Adventure album when I was a kid..


When something seems
Too hard to handle
Too big to conquer
Too far away to touch

When all your dreams
Begin to shatter
And deep inside you
You're hurtin', oh, so much
That's when it's time to say

Refrain:
I'm climbing my mountain, step by step
I'm climbing my mountain, day by day
I'm climbing my mountain, all the way
I'm climbing my mountain
I'm gonna make it

Chorus:
One step at a time
One step at a time
One step at a time
With Jesus by my side
One step at a time
One step at a time
I'm climbing my mountain
One step at a time

Even though you might grow weary
Don't be discouraged
In our weakness God is strong

Remember this, He'll never leave you
He won't forsake you
He's your strength and He's your song
So sing and start to say...
(Refrain then Chorus)

It really helped me keep going. I also rang a beautiful friend who listened to me cry some more and prayed with me and then we chatted and I started laughing (good medicine).


Am feeling better now. I still have heaps to do and I still get occasionally overwhelmed especially when I think about the money side too much but then I count my blessings and keep walking and leave that tonne of bricks by the side of the road where it belongs.