When life is wibbly-wobbly

We humans like to be able categorise life and arrange it into nice little compartmentalized segments. Work life here, home life here, the reasons for this here, our systems and belief systems there...

Unfortunately life can't be categorised like that.

The Doctor makes a great quote about time which I think can quite easily be applied to life as well..

 "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect. But actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey... stuff"

 Life is wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey. There is stuff that we want to happen that happens when we don't want it to, and there is other stuff that doesn't happen when we do want it to.

If I could be the Doctor's companion for just one day you know where I'd hitch a lift to- out of all of time and space? I'd choose Africa.  But, instead I must take the slow path and will be sticking it out for the next 31 weeks in my job and then making a move to the land of giraffes, posho and beautiful brown babies.

 I have a friend who just found out that she didn't get the position she desperately wanted. We had coffee recently and she said that she will have to reassess her life for this year and what she is aiming for- she was certain she was called, directed, led to apply for the position, was highly qualified for it and was granted an elusive interview with high-ups about it.. and yet.. wibbly-wobbly it didn't happen.

Another friend found out today that she has been given an opportunity to take a trip that she thought was out of reach.  She had been planning to go but due to circumstances beyond her control it wasn't going to happen and she had, had to kiss it goodbye... until the phone call that changed everything.. Timey-wimey it happened.

So to, I have been musing about the wibbly wobbly stuff that is occurring in our world at the moment- North Korea threatening war, gay people wanting the right to be married, the resurgence of slavery in our world (William Wilberforce would roll over in his grave!)

These things become big balls of stuff that surround me and weave throughout my private world. Which strands do I roll in a ball and stuff in the knitting basket? Which are tangled and knotted and need patient teasing to find the end? Many of the big balls  have been successfully knitted into garments that I wear that identify who I am. Disciple of Jesus Christ, Australian, female, justice seeker....

Some have been unravelled as I have grown up, others I have had forced upon me that I fight to escape from like a jumper that has shrunk in the wash.

What is truth, what is not truth? How do we know? 

There is a knitting book that has instructions- but sometimes these are open to interpretation and knit one purl one can become knot one, purloin one.

In all of this I am realising that I need to go back to Master Knitter and get her to explain it to me- the more one spends time with her and watches her handiwork the more things make sense.

It makes sense really considering that she was one who created me in the first place.

Psalm 139:13
"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb."






Some Footnotes:
The Doctor is of course from the TV Series Doctor Who- this quote comes from an episode called Blink- I highly recommend it.

I have referred to God (the Master Knitter) as a she in this blogpost. I do this because God is equally male and female.

On healing...

Over my life I have seen God do some particularly cool things. One of them is healing people.

During my recent trip to Africa I got to pray for people for their salvation and also for God to heal them in hospitals and in the local village, both in Mozambique and South Sudan. It was pretty outrageous.
I have been overwhelmed by what Papa did in me on the trip and after some discussions which brought up different points to view I have felt the need to explore just exactly what I believe about healing, why it happens and especially why it doesn't.

With any journey such as this it helps to start at the very beginning (Maria always said it was a very good place to start).

When I was 15 I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. Which basically means I am having miracle children. I also battled with a mental illness (affective mood disorder) for which I took a medication called lithium. At the end of that year my Dad had a serious accident on the Sunshine Coast when he was body surfing at the beach and a big wave picked him up and dumped him head first into the sand. He was flown to Brisbane where he had a massive bleed on the brain and ended up in a 4 week coma, nearly dying twice. Naturally we prayed A LOT for his healing and had many people from church praying too.He was diagnosed with frontal lobe damage and now has an acquired brain injury. He had to learn to walk, talk and eat all over again and isn't the same Dad that I grew up with. I am so proud of him though he is a victorious man who calls himself a Brain Injury Thriver- not Survivor. (if you've ever met him most don't even know there is a problem- it's not until you live with him you notice his idiosyncrasies!). When I was 22 I attended a Tim Hall meeting at Garden City Church in Brisbane (now Hillsong). Tim Hall pointed at me and said that God was going to heal me from a mental and physical illness. I threw my lithium away and haven't needed it since then. I haven't been healed from the premature ovarian failure yet though.

More than anyone I have a personal need to see God heal people starting with me and then my Dad.

Some questions that have been rolling through my thoughts lately... Does healing happen today or was it just a Biblical thing that only Jesus did? Why doesn't everyone get healed? Why does God heal people partially?  Do you have to be somebody special to heal? Why.. just why?? I don't profess to have the answers I just know a God who does.

First of all...

Does healing happen today?

Yes! I believe that healing happens today because I have been healed. Mental illness is an ugly battle to fight- especially if like me you thought the whole world knew who you were and were out to kill you!

Yes! I believe that healing happens today because I have heard of people getting healed- credible eye witness accounts of thousands of people who were blind and now can see, who were deaf and now can hear, crutches and wheelchairs no longer neeeded and cancers shriveling and dying. Even people getting raised from the dead! Check out the ministries of Heidi Baker, Reinhard Bonnke, John Mellor, plus cool classic people like John G Lake, Smith Wigglesworth and Kathryn Kuhlman to name a few!

Yes! I have prayed for  people and they have  been healed. In Mozambique we prayed for a little girl who had back and leg problems. When we finished praying she looked better and so we asked if she could sit up. She not only sat up but started jumping up and down on the bed!  In South Sudan we prayed  for a Grandmama who had urinary tract infection and was in a lot of pain. She said her pain was gone when we had prayed. In Australia I prayed for a friend who was going to need a d/c after a miscarriage she was in a lot of pain. I prayed for her and the pain left and she had a natural d/c no surgery required.


Why doesn't everyone get healed? Why does God heal partially?
This a tough question. I know some people would disagree however I would say that sometimes we don't know why people don't get healed.

Like any prayer we pray sometimes God says yes, sometimes God says no, sometimes God says wait. Sometimes having a problem makes us more approachable. I know for my Dad he has encouraged and helped a whole group of brain-injured people who are sceptical of well-intentioned whole brained people. He is able to encourage them, pray for them and stand beside them because he has a Brain-injury.

I have a missionary friend who got really sick while serving on the field. Her team prayed for her, but she still ended up in hospital. She was praying about why she was in hospital and the next day there was a new patient in the bed next to her. The patient in the next bed was so surprised to see a white person in the hospital with the exact same illness to her. She'd always thought white people never got sick. Her misconceptions of white people were broken that day and she eventually gave her life to Christ. How cool is that! 

2 Corinthians 12:9
But He said to me "My grace is enough for you for my power is made perfect in weakness. So then I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may reside in me. "

I am happy to wait on my healing. I look forward to the day when my future husband says "Check this out everybody we have miracle children!" My wife was told she wouldn't be able to conceive and look at our gorgeous kids!!"  I  totally believe that heaps are going to come to Christ because of that testimony!

 In the meantime I have hope..

Romans 8:23-25 "Not only so, but we ourselves who have the firstfruits of the Spirit groan inwardly as we wait for the eagerly for the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." 

 It is very easy to get caught up in the" if onlys"- If I had only read one more scripture verse or prayed for 10 more minutes they would have been healed. Maybe it's my fault, I have sin in my life I don't read the Bible enough, I don't go to church every week or whatever. 

When I was in Africa I had the opportunity to pray for a lady in the village. We prayed that God would heal her leg and hip plus she had a large hernia on her chest. I was really excited and was believing that the hernia would go. She was healed partially and her leg and hip pain went- but the hernia was still there large as life. 

I was so bummed about this and spent weeks afterwards agonizing over what I did wrong. After some discussion and a lot of prayer it really hit me that healing isn't about me anyway it's God at work- not about us.  If our lives are being lived the right way in holiness, the supernatural will happen naturally, we don’t need to force it. We have to learn to live spontaneously from our spirit not rigidly from the rules (letter of the law). 

A quote from the amazing and inspiring Nic Vujic

Do you have to be somebody special to heal?

Nope! Definitely not- you just have to have mustard seed size faith.

Matthew 17:20
I tell you the truth... If you have faith the size of a mustard seed you will say to this mountain "Move from here to there and it will move.

Do you need prayer? I love to pray! You don't need to be standing next to someone for someone else to pray for you. I have prayed for people by email and over the phone and they have been healed.
Feel free to comment below or email me at flyredbutterfly AT gmail DOT com

A sinful Woman pours perfume on Jesus

I joined an Online Bible Study awhile ago. It got revamped and so I was able to start with it again. I really like it because it's simple to use and insightful. There is a piece of scripture you read and then there are simple but deep questions at the end. The one that always gets me is "if this verse is true what are you going to do about it".

I decided this time that I would blog about it...

So... to start with let's read the scripture together....


Luke 7:36-50

A Sinful Woman Pours Perfume on Jesus

³⁶ One of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him. So he went to the Pharisee’s house. He took his place at the table.
³⁷ There was a woman in that town who had lived a sinful life. She learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house. So she came with a special sealed jar of perfume. ³⁸ She stood behind Jesus and cried at his feet. She began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair. She kissed them and poured perfume on them.
³⁹ The Pharisee who had invited Jesus saw this. He said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him. He would know what kind of woman she is. She is a sinner!”
⁴⁰ Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”
“Tell me, teacher,” he said.
⁴¹ “Two people owed money to a certain lender. One owed him 500 silver coins. The other owed him 50 silver coins. ⁴² Neither of them had the money to pay him back. So he let them go without paying. Which of them will love him more?”
⁴³ Simon replied, “I suppose the one who owed the most money.”
“You are right,” Jesus said.
⁴⁴ Then he turned toward the woman. He said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water to wash my feet. But she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. ⁴⁵ You did not give me a kiss. But this woman has not stopped kissing my feet since I came in. ⁴⁶ You did not put any olive oil on my head. But she has poured perfume on my feet. ⁴⁷ So I tell you this. Her many sins have been forgiven. She has loved a lot. But the one who has been forgiven little loves only a little.”
⁴⁸ Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
⁴⁹ The other guests began to talk about this among themselves. They said, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
⁵⁰ Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”

New International Reader's Version (NIRV)


I really like this scripture because Jesus loved her as she was, she didnt have to do anything or be anything for him to forgive her sins. When I was in Sudan I had the opportunity to reread the book "Treasures in the Snow" by Patricia St John. This book has so many great nuggets of truth in it. The one that stood out to me this time was the part where they talk about asking Jesus to come in and help us. If a room is dark we don't say I need to chase away the darkness before the light can come in. We open the door and the darkness goes. So too it is with Jesus' love. We don't need to do anything except recieve it.

Jesus loves to love us and loves to forgive us...

Are you ready to ask him?

A South Sudanese perspective

I realised tonight that exactly one week ago was my last night in South Sudan. It has definitely left an impression on my heart.

I miss the sights, the smells and the sounds- The wide open space and overcast cloud build up. The smell from the cooking fires and watching the young girls make peanut butter from scratch. The posho for meal times (OK maybe only a little). The dust covering the massive tree leaves as you travel by Boda (motorbike) into town to buy pineapple and passionfruit and barter for your boda ride. (note to self 10 pounds is too much!) The constant relationship building that occurs with a simple "Salaam Taki"". Even children yelling Kawaja (white person)  as you motor on by.  Well except for the goats that wake you at 4:30am in the morning with the awful groaning and moaning  I discovered one morning this sound comes from the massive billy goat that is guarding his territory. All this is part of the glorious tapestry that is South Sudan.
 
The South Sudanese people too have definitely left a lasting impression.  J with her shy smiles and big dreams to be a doctor because of the poor healthcare that resulted in the death of her mother days after she was born. B with her awesome interpreting skills praying for the women in the hospital with me and eating Ethiopian cuisine til we were full to our eyebrows. P with her laugh and her genuine joy when introducing us to new people and her desire to do well at school too. Little Koala-boy with his genuine need for love and affection and a tight cuddle for at least 20 minutes every time I came near him- even after I ensured that his cracked toenail was bathed and bandaged, causing much distress.  Happy Baby who genuinely laughs at everything, including clipping and unclipping a glo-stick around his wrist 20 times in a row.  Fellow servants of the most High-  D with his big heart for the things of God and seeing miraculous healing. S with his heart for children and prophetic words and setting the record for the most children on him at one time 6!

These people have become an inexplicable part of my life now. Our stories have become entwined even if it's just for a moment. A short stretch of dusty bumpy road on life's journey. Their heart for God and to want their lives to make a difference has encouraged me to want to make a bigger impact this year too. I pray that 2013 would be the beginning of that.

As much as I would think otherwise I don't need to be in South Sudan to  see God at work. He is here in the conversation I had with the blood collection lady to check that I don't have malaria or other nastys and the Divine Appointment He orchestrated so that I could pray for her. He's in the Cheap Shop where I am able to purchase 5 coloured mats which are marked down to half price at the register so I can cover the holes in my carpet in my classroom. He's in the drive back to Central Queensland tomorrow with my Mum and in my classroom waiting for me as I set up to teach this year. He is here. I am here. Am I looking am I watching am I waiting?

I pray that the South Sudanese part of the tapestry and the Central Queensland one would weave themselves inexplicably together as I seek to serve the Saviour. Everything I do is for his glory and his purposes whether here in Australia or in Africa. I pray that you'd sense the same.

Excerpts from my African Travel Journal Saturday 22nd December 2012

Day 2 Zimpeto Children's Centre
Portuguese Words learned:
Ola!  Hi
Obrigado/Obrigada Thankyou (m,f)
Bon dia Good morning
Comte shama What is your name?

Slept in this morning- I must have needed it! My new Kiwi friends had got me some bread from the dining hall for breakfast. So grateful! After breakfast we got ready and then drove in the van with a bunch of others to a place near the city where we would be helping with Street Ministry.

It was a long way away and traffic was insane. Cars everywhere! Lots of utes with people standing to capacity in the back. Also saw a goat tied to a flat bed truck on top. Remarkable!

Lots of African women carrying things on their heads. Quickly worked out that they roll material and place the object on that. It makes the stuff sit flat.  The Street Ministry location took us past beautiful ocean. So pretty and flat. Lots of small wooden fishing boats bobbing on the water and capalanas for sale flapping in the breeze- so want to buy some the patterns are incredible!

Street ministry itself was a bit anti-climatic. We were told we would be helping but didn't really get to do much. They had praise and worship first and then a message. They handed out a little book that complemented the message. The mostly young men seemed to engage quite well with it all. Then they handed out bags filled with a white box that had chicken and rice, bread and an apple. With a fizzy drink too.
We weren't allowed to help hand out the food in case the people got into a frenzy about who was getting what in what order. Understandable but still disappointing. Prayed a lot for the people as we watched it all unfold.

When we got home Natasha took me to the Baby House. Oh my goodness I loved it!! The Baby House or Casa de Bebe is actually for babies who aren't newborn and toddlers. The kids were outside playing in the sand and within like 2 seconds I had toddlers swarming all over me and wanting to be picked up. Adorable Carmina was there too- my heart goes out to her. She is so needy. Jesus heal her.

Some of the kids were getting their hair braided for Christmas and put into coloured hair ties. So stinkin cute! The poor kid in question wasnt having that much fun though lots of tears! The kids soon went inside and I helped feed a little one dinner. Lots of rice! I really enjoyed my afternoon. So going back for more!

Hello little one!

Toddlers everywhere

Mario with a sandy nose

These kids love attention

It's OK I know I am cute!

Mario is a twin... I am holding his sister Carolyn in a later photo

Hair in braids with a coloured tie

Don't you just want to take him home?

Me with Carolyn

After dinner a group of us went and helped in Laura's Dorm. Laura has 30ish boys between the ages of 5-8. She wanted some help as the boys decorated for Christmas. I handed out a plethora of tape stuck a lot to noses and foreheads just for fun. Also helped pack and label the gift bags they'll get on Christmas Day. Was excited to discover that my koala clippies were going in the bags.... Also impressed that we had to label all the toys. It meant that each toy actually belonged to a child and it wasn't just communal. Loved hearing Laura's story. She is one inspiring lady- single too- which impresses me and encourages me!  check her out at www.clearlyliving.blogspot.com 

Laura instructing the boys before the paper-chain frenzy begins

The boys hard at work

Check my progress Claire! I love doing this

Super Secret Squirrel Business... packing and labelling gifts with new friends

Excerpts from my African Travel Journal 21st Dec 2012

Day 1 Zimpeto Children's Centre

Am staying in a room with a lovely lady called Mel from the UK. She is so helpful. Met a lovely couple from South Africa and 3 Kiwis.  Belinda and Kevin took me to the Special Needs House to visit 6 special kids

1. Rafael 4 years
2. Domingos 13 years
3. Paulo 10 years
4. Alfredo 5 years
5. Carmina 9 years
6. Lucas 9 years

Especially taken with Lucas he apparently has a degenerative muscular illness. He had the most gorgeous smile I had ever seen. I got to feed him breakfast he would interrupt me every now and then with a big smile- so infectious!

Belinda, Kevin and I then took all 6 of them to the local "piscina"swimming pool. Apparently they never get to go understandably as all the kids walk there (about 20 minutes away) The kids loved it! Lucas got so excited and was splashing everywhere! Got back in time for lunch- rice and beans not bad considering!

Then we drove in the van for 45 minutes to get to Shoprite the local supermarket. The lines were insane! It was absolutely crawling with people, being so close to Christmas. It seriously took forever to shop because I was constantly dodging people and trying not to elbow people in the ribs. The queue for the checkout took literally an hour and a bit to get through. So bored! I did manage to learn the Portuguese words for rice and sugar- arroza and pucara as this was what they were selling in the line I was in- It went halfway up the aisle!

Shoprite Supermarket- people everywhere!

Excerpts from my African Journal 20 Dec 2012

In Flight to Johannesburg!

Finally here! Its been a long wait for this moment so exciting worth it!

So blessed I knew I'd have to pay for excess baggage for my 7 wedding dresses (to be donated to Iris Zimpeto- not for freaking out some hot potential husband) But was a bit shocked to discover that it would be $550 as they were going to charge me per kilo.

Thankfully after a quick prayer heavenward QANTAS were happy for me to pay the new baggage allowance charge which was per piece $120 is a big difference!

Praying that the baggage charge between Jo-berg and Maputo is minimal (it was- no charge at all!)
Happy so far- comfortable seat by the window. No one next to me so I can stretch out and I just got handed a menu. Definitely not a chicken or beef kind of day.

GOD is GOOD so GOOD!

5am Johannesburg time 10:23 minutes of flying time left 3 hours elapsed.

Lunch was really good- 3 menu items to choose from I chose the Braised Beef with artichoke and pinenuts with roasted chats and peas and broccoli. YUMMY! Plus amazing Cookies and Creme mousse melt in your mouth amazing. Not really getting into any of the movies so far- am enjoying watching some of How I met your mother which helps to past the time and then hopefully I can nap
AFRICA I am coming!

8pm Maputo time Thursday 20th
SO INCREDIBLY TIRED!

Didnt sleep at all. Too wired! Grateful for more room to stretch out some. Finally arrived in South Africa to discover that the Travel Agent had stuffed up my tix and I had missed my connecting flight to Maputo because I had to drag all my luggage through customs and then re-check in. GOD is so incredibly GOOD I spoke to ground staff who took me to where I needed to go and explained what happened to the LAM Air they reissued my tix for the last flight of the night- no $$ required.

Plus plus no excess baggage for those dresses! Because I had some time up my sleeve i sat on a bench to re-orient myself and looked up to discover I was outside a jeweller. The ring Mum gave me for my 30th birthday had got really tight on my finger in the heat and was VERY stuck. I went in and asked if they had pliers that would cut off the ring. They didnt but they said go to duty free. (as if you would think to ask them!) I went and a lovely lady took me into her office out the back and her colleague found some red pliers and cut off the ring. What a relief! My finger is still super swollen.. imagine the agony if it was still on my finger!

Oww! Swollen finger from the heat... minus tight ring

Went and had some dinner at a buffet at the airport in South Africa, pretty ordinary meal but considering that I have to eat before I reach Zimpeto (dinner finished 2 hours ago) it was important!

Musings on slowing down and waiting

It’s the end of September which means I am on holidays again… yippee no more school for 14 days… and yet… I am restless in my spirit. There must be more then this..It sounds crazy but the reality of not going back to Africa in October 2013 is really starting to sink in.. I read the website and program again and I am desperate to be there.. but yet I must wait..technically if I really wanted to go I could, but it would mean resigning from my job.. but do I really want to do that??? I am no quitter…
Listen to me I havent even been to Africa yet for the first time and I am already planning my trip back there.. Crazy right? I need the peace that passes all understanding.. I am desperate for more I am tired of waiting. I said to a friend today. There better be something pretty darn good on the other side of the waiting… something worth waiting for! I am restless too because for so long 11 weeks- I have been busy. Early mornings. long days… kids wanting my attention and paperwork piling up on my desk.. It’s hard to slow down- seems almost surreal that I can.. I had been counting down all week for this moment where there is no alarm to wake up and the knowledge that the day is my own….
There must be more than this..
John 3:30
He must become greater; I must become less…
Psalm 37:23
The steps of the good [woman] are ordered by the Lord and he delights in [her] way.
Have your way in me Lord.. Lead me on paths of righteousness… Teach me about waiting with patience when the restlessness kicks in. Give me joy in the moment.  Make me an instrument of your peace….

Living life with pus.. not for the faint-hearted

On Wednesday I discovered that I had a boil under my arm. At first I thought it just a rash from the rabies vaccine I had for my trip to Africa until I checked it in the mirror and realised that it was a slightly annoying white bump with a red area around the outside. I didnt think much of it and like any pimple gave it a good squeeze- even poked it once or twice with a needle and then got on with my holiday. On Friday night whilst holidaying in Port Macquarie that innocent white bump had flared into a grapefruit sized lump under my arm that was so painful I couldnt lift my arm above my shoulder. I cried myself to sleep from the pain that night and convinced my host to take me to the Doctor the next day. After an hour and half wait (in total agony)  I got a script for some antibiotics and played the waiting game. Today I went back to the Doctor who wielded her scalpel and lanced the boil- lots more yuck came out, but it was worth it! I can lift my arm now!
So with anything you wonder what lessons can be learned from situations like this… for me it is a reminder to not live with unforgiveness.
If a situation makes you upset and angry deal with it- getting grumpy is natural but internalising it and not dealing with it just makes you store up pus for yourself for later. At first you can deal with it, but then… when you least expect it the lump grows and grows and needs to be lanced…
Solve it early. Forgive! If your not ready to talk to the person find a trusted confidante that you can share with who can pray with you and encourage you, forgive them again. Try not to talk about what about what happened to make you upset and bitter with everyone around you. This just helps contribute to the pus! Sometimes talking to the person who offended you isnt helpful. They have no idea that they have hurt you and will be hurt more if you say something. This though is the tricky bit- sometimes you need to share with that person what happened so that the healing can begin. It’s a matter for pray for time and for growth. Usually you find that in forgiving someone else you free yourself and the pain goes away.
A good antibiotic for everyone!